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Finding a partner is already difficult - finding a BDSM partner is even harder, as sexual preferences are not as easy to find out as your favourite food or music style! The fact is that ever since Christian Grey stretched women's arses in "Fifty Shades of Grey", the idea of BDSM has lost its negative touch and the desire to try something new and, for some, forbidden is greater than ever. But how do you find a suitable partner who shares this desire for something new?
WHAT IS IMPORTANT WHEN LOOKING FOR A BDSM PARTNER?
my-Ladies tip: To avoid misunderstandings, it should always be clear - as in any other relationship - whether you are looking for a committed partnership or a casual play relationship. So if you want to be tied down without committing to someone, you should make this clear from the start. It is also important to be aware of your own preferences:
What exactly are you looking for? Are you more submissive or dominant? All of this is important because it will help you find a suitable BDSM partner.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT IN A BDSM PARTNERSHIP?
my-Ladies tip: The priorities of your BDSM partnership are of course entirely up to you. However, there are a few things you can think about in advance to make your relationship as enjoyable and satisfying as you want it to be. In order for both of you to feel comfortable in your role, you need to be able to trust each other. It is also important to talk to each other and clarify exactly what is allowed and what is not. Above all, it is important to set boundaries that are adhered to. To make these boundaries clear in the heat of the moment, you can agree on a safe word. This signals to your partner that a boundary has been reached that should not be crossed. Tolerating and respecting these boundaries is an absolute must in a BDSM partnership.
WHERE DO YOU START LOOKING?
my-Ladies tip: If you know what type of BDSM person you are, you can now find the right partner. Even if you can't tell from looking at people whether they are into BDSM or not, there are good ways to find the right partner. Regulars' tables and parties (especially fetish parties) allow direct contact with people in the neighbourhood. Openness is required here - the advantage is that you can see your partner outside the online world and can make a completely different choice. It's not just photos that play a role here, but also the voice, smell, facial expressions and gestures, as well as the energy that, in the best case scenario, makes it sizzle between you and your potential partner. However, you shouldn't hope for anonymity.
If you don't necessarily want to sit down at a regulars' table, you can of course always search online. There are plenty of portals that allow you to search for the right BDSM partner - the well-known dating apps are a quick and uncomplicated way to do this. You can also find what you're looking for via Facebook groups or suitable hashtags on Instagram. As not all BDSM is the same and there are different preferences, many of the special portals offer the option of defining preferences and limits in advance.
What might also interest you:
Möchtest Du mitreden und zum Meisterkenner werden? Hier findest Du alle wichtigen Begrifflichkeiten zum Thema BDSM:
We can also offer you a range of sexual services on myLadies. Take a look around our categories and find a partner who will share your passion and fulfil your desires:
If you are interested in BDSM and would like to talk more about it with like-minded people, then take a look at our partner site "BDSM28", the BDSM community and fetish portal for lustful dating. You can find them here.
For all beginners and newcomers in this field, we recommend the site "The BDSM Blog". This blog is a great guide and informs you about everything to do with BDSM. There is also a BDSM emergency telephone number where you can call in urgent emergencies. Click here for the blog!
