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All relevant BDSM terms are explained in the BDSM lexicon. The BDSM lexicon is intended to appeal to interested beginners as well as experienced BDSMers and to convey content in a relaxed manner.Even if things are often serious and disciplined between top and bottom, master and slave, mistress and slave, BDSM does not have to be a dry subject.
A
- Agreements = essential communication before every session, in which preferences, taboos and safewords are clarified
- Crash = a session that has gone wrong; usually for emotional reasons. Crashes usually affect bottoms, but can also happen to tops if they are overwhelmed. It is also referred to as a misplay.
- Traffic light system = a form of → slow words; a code for slowing down or pausing BDSM acts (green = ok, yellow = no stronger or further, red = stop)
- Anal intercourse = sexual intercourse in which the penis is inserted into the anus
- Anilingus = (also: rimming); an oral sexual practice in which the anus, including the perineal region, is stimulated with lips and tongue
B
- Bastonade = originally a corporal punishment; the bare soles of the feet are beaten with percussion instruments
- BDSM = abbreviation for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism
- Bondage = bondage or servitude; tying up to restrict freedom of movement and/or for aesthetic purposes
- Bottom = the passive part of BDSM
- Bunny = the bound sub in → bondage
C
- Cock and ball torture (CBT) = sexual, pleasurable and painful stimulation of the penis and scrotum
- Coming out = recognising and admitting one's sexual orientation; a distinction is made between personal/inner coming out (to oneself) and social/outer coming out (to society, friends and family)
- Consensual = consensual
- Cross-dressing = wearing the specific clothing of the opposite sex
- Cuckold = a man who obtains sexual satisfaction in a committed partnership through his partner's intimate contact with other men; he can be dominant, voyeuristic, masochistic and/or submissive
D
- Dom = dominant (determining) partner who finds the stimulation and arousal in the control, the power over the sub
- Submissive = submissive → sub
E
- Erotic Power Exchange (EPE) ; a BDSM relationship that emphasises the sexual aspect, as the shift in control from the passive to the active partner does not affect everyday life; there they are equal; the opposite is → Total Power Exchange
F
- Femdom = (female domination); female dominance in BDSM
- Fetishism = sexual fixation on objects, materials or even body parts, such as breasts, feet or belly button
- Flagellation = (also: flag); whipping; the infliction of physical pain through blows with a whip; a flagellant is a sadomasochist with a penchant for whipping games
- Flogger = special whip (strap whip) with a short handle and soft cords made of materials such as suede, latex or plastic
- Footjob = stimulating the male member with the feet
- Frogtie = position in bondage in which the legs are bound to the thighs with the ankles (frog position); the wrists in turn are fixed to the outside of the leg restraints on the respective side or behind the back
G
- Whip = percussion instrument for → chastisement; a thin, flexible stick
- Geschichte der O = 1954 sadomasochistic novel by Pauline Réage with a detailed depiction of female submission
- Golden shower = urinating on someone for pleasure → urophilia
H
- Collar = collars (made of leather, metal or latex) are usually worn by → bottoms as a "symbol of ownership" of their dom
- Hogtie = position in bondage in which the bottom lies on their stomach and their wrists and ankles are tied together behind their back. The bound wrists and ankles are also tied together. The shorter this connection, the further the upper body is raised. The upper arms or knees can also be tied together
I
- Injection = a practice in the context of → clinical eroticism; the injection of (sterile) fluids, e.g. saline solution, into the body using a syringe and a needle (cannula); a distinction is made between subcutaneous (under the skin), intramuscular (into muscle tissue) and intravenous (into the vein) injections; medical knowledge is a prerequisite
J
- Japan Bondage = also Shibari; artistic bondage for aesthetic reasons, it is only used secondarily to immobilise the bottom; in Japan itself it is called "Kinbaku".
K
- Caviar = faeces
- Clinic eroticism = (also: clinic games, white BDSM, doctor games); a sexual practice with references to medical examinations or hospital stays, usually in the form of a role play of doctor and patient
- Gag = object to be inserted into the → sub's mouth to prevent them from speaking; the ball gag is particularly popular and consists of a rubber ball with 2 straps that are connected behind the head, with the ball in the mouth
L
- Vinyl, leather, latex = popular materials in BDSM → fetish
M
- Masochism = the pleasure of pain and being tortured; after the involuntary namesake Leopold von Sacher-Masoch
- Mummification = form of bondage in which the whole body or individual parts of the body are wrapped in suitable material to restrict the sub's freedom of movement, e.g. cling film
N
- Pinwheel = (also: Wartenbergrad; Pinwheel); a medical instrument used as a toy in → BDSM, it consists of a handle with a small wheel with tips at the ends, which is rolled over the skin with light pressure
- Golden shower = urine
- Nine-tailed cat = a multi-stranded whip with braided ends → Flogger
O
- Objectification = treating the sub as an object as part of an educational measure, e.g. as a piece of furniture
- O-ring (ring of the O) = symbol from the → "history of the O"; an iron ring into which another small ring is embedded by means of an attached ball; recognisable symbol in the BDSM scene
P
- Paddles = flat striking tool made of leather or wood
- Pegging = a sexual practice in which a man is anally penetrated by a woman using a strap-on
- Petplay = erotic role play in which the sub slips into the role of an animal, behaves accordingly and is treated as such; particularly common: ponyplay, dogplay & pigplay
- Paedophilia = sexual preference for feet → fetishism
Q
- Queening = refers to a sexual practice in which one partner places their genitals on the other's face for oral stimulation
R
- Risk-aware consensual kink = BDSM basic rule; risk-conscious, consensual sexual behaviour
- Rigger = Tying up artist; the active tying up part in bondage
- Ropemarks = The marks left by the rope on the skin after bondage.
S
- Sadism = satisfaction and pleasure through torturing and humiliating others; sadism is named after the French nobleman Marquis de Sade; the opposite is → masochism
- Safeword = agreed code for cancelling a BDSM act
- Session = (also: play); refers to the period of time in which BDSM practices are carried out
- Slowword = special form of safeword with which the bottom does not indicate that the game should be stopped, but that the top should take it slower or more gently; often practised in the form of the traffic light system
- Spanking = spanking someone's bottom with bare hands or aids such as → paddles etc
- Safe, sane and consensual = basic BDSM rule; safe, with a clear mind and with mutual consent
- Sub = bottom; the submissive partner who voluntarily gives up a certain amount of self-determination during a session for the sake of pleasure
- Suspension bondage = suspension bondage; bondage in which the bottom is suspended horizontally, vertically, upside down or upside down from a harness
- Switch, Switcher = someone who does not want to commit to one role in BDSM practices, but switches between Dom and Sub
T
- Tease and denial (T&D) = to arouse and deny; sexual practice to increase arousal without reaching orgasm
- Temperature play = during a → session, toys and accessories are used for additional stimulation that differ greatly from the bottom's body temperature, e.g. ice cubes or wax
- Total Power Exchange (TPE) = a BDSM partnership concept with a constant presence of power imbalance in non-sexual areas of life, e.g. work, family, finances; there is no demarcation between the session and real life
- Tunnel games = games that cannot be cancelled once started, e.g. administration of sexual enhancers, rubbing with burning (thermal) creams, ginger or essential oils, use of nettles Urtication
U
- Urtication = (also: flaming or nettling); whipping with stinging nettles to achieve a strong skin stimulation → tunnel play
- Urophilia = (also: undinism); the sexual preference for urine
V
- Vanillas = people who practise sex without BDSM elements
W
- Wax = hot, liquid wax is dripped onto the body as part of a → temperature game
- Watersports = games with urine → golden shower, golden shower
X
- X-position = also: spread eagle); position in bondage in which the bottom lies on their back or stomach with their arms and legs spread wide apart and is tied to the bedpost or other four separate points, e.g. to a St Andrew's cross
Y
- Y-position = the → bottom is suspended overhead with arms tied together and legs spread wide, creating a Y-shape and making the genitals easily accessible, for example
Z
- Chastisement = punishment by inflicting physical pain → spanking
If you would like to find out more about BDSM punishments, then click on the following article:
